Articles for tag: fear-and-emotion, gender, marriage-and-monogamy

September 12, 2024

twhoshaw

Marriage 101

Adam Phillips’s book, Monogamy, is a collection of 121 (think 1 to 1, the logic of a certain kind of relationship) provocative aphorisms. Monogamy has activated my curiosity (see here, here and, here) by highlighting what we so often ignore (and, manifestly, at our peril): the problem of (the promise of?) infidelity.   Here is my try at aphorism making: #101 Heterosexuals say they are happily married, but one can never be sure because they always declare their matrimonial bliss with a straight face. Homosexuals also say they are happily married, but not without having a laugh.

September 9, 2024

twhoshaw

The Irony of Loving Monogamy

II am no apologist for monogamy. Yet, most people desire it for themselves. And most people, even those for whom it seems to be working out well, don't seem to love monogamy. I think that is interesting. Most people don't love monogamy, but yet they still believe in it. So, it is worth asking: What promises to make loving monogamy promising? My answer is irony. Irony is the key to loving monogamy. Or so I will argue in this essay.

August 26, 2024

twhoshaw

What does love want? Our in-fidelity.

Kylie Minogue, “All The Lovers” (music video still), 2010. The music video of Kylie Minogue’s hit song, “All the Lovers” (2010) raises two questions for me: 1) What does love want? 2) What can we do about it? Watch the video: The video opens with a cup of coffee falling, splashing empty on the ground (and a man taking off his shirt); a container of milk drops, spilling out on the ground (and two more people take off their clothes), and white marshmallows light on the ground as Minogue sings to her beloved, to her love object: someone who is apparently

August 26, 2024

twhoshaw

Why do we hate (political) monogamy?

Roman Polanski, Rosemary’s Baby (film still), 1968. Quick thought(s): I was provoked to think about political monogamy by an excerpt of Josh Marshall’s recent blog about “the media’s” thirst for the Democratic Party’s “honeymoon” with Kamala Harris to end. Political “honeymoonism” (at least the Democratic variety), or so we are told, must end with the Democratic National Convention (so on August 22, 2024). Is the honeymoon over? “The media” asserts the honeymoon must end. You know, the joy must end; electing Harris must get miserable, nasty, awful, etc. That is, if we are serious Harris supporters, serious about our future, serious about