Gay Erasure? No thanks.

Felix Gonzalez-Torres, American, born Cuba, 1957-1996. “Untitled” (Portrait of Ross in L.A.), 1991. The Art Institute of Chicago and the Smithsonian.

Straight allies mean well when they support gay marriage. “It’s not gay marriage,” they assert; “it’s just marriage.” Likewise, they mean well when they envision a time when gay pride is no longer necessary. “Gay people will be so integrated,” they argue, “that parades and all that will no longer be necessary.”

Love is love.

I don’t blame straight allies for making those cringey statements. They are, after all, taking their lead from gay folks whose singular purpose in life is to fit in, to walk the straight and normal path laid out for them.

Gay parents are often leading the efforts of gay normalcy. “There is no gay way,” these parents contend, “to brush a kid’s teeth.”

If parenting were only that simple, right? Maybe it is, and perhaps that is why we have so many assholish kids running around nowadays. Just a thought.

Who is afraid of gayness? A lot of people apparently.

Here is my obligatory gay statement this June:

I am proud of my gayness. It is the best thing about me.

I am deeply grateful for my gayness. Devoted to it. It delights me.

Gayness animates my personhood, my intimate/married life, my fatherhood, my faith, my scholarly artistry, my style, my hopes and dreams.

I am alive today because of gayness.

Four hellish, it seems, truths:

1. We, all of us, need gay marriage.
2. We, all of us, need gay pride.
3. We, all of us, need gay parenting.
4. We, all of us, need gayness.

May it be so. Forever and ever.

Amen.